It wasn't Bush, Zionists, Health Care, or Big Oil; it was my own fault

I ran across a story on the net today that struck a little close to home. Before you laugh at this clip, remember, I did it before this guy. Thank God my incident didn't end up in the headlines.
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mcall.com: DUI suspect sobers up for court
Nesquehoning man came drunk for initial sentencing Monday.
By Bob Laylo Of The Morning Call

A Nesquehoning man who came drunk to Carbon County Court
on Monday to be sentenced in a drunken driving case will
likely spend more time in jail.
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Yep, I'll admit it; I showed up for sentencing on a DUI charge drunk back around 1994. I went into the court room after having finished off two bottles of Mogan David 20/20 ("Mad Dog" 20/20) wine earlier that morning.

When I say that I used to be a raging alcoholic, I mean that I was totally consumed by it. Alcohol was all that I thought about. I didn't care about anyone but myself, and how I was going to get drunk again. Be it family or friend, I only thought about the next drink. Even my own child was merely an obstacle in the way of my finding a bottle.

Now, obviously, when I heard the judge say, “I want to see you in my chambers; now!” that afternoon in court, I should have come to my senses, but I didn’t. Even after he sentenced me to a year of house arrest, probation, mandatory AA meetings three times a week, and weekends in jail I hadn’t truly given up alcohol. I was sober for most of that year, but I was still an alcoholic; waiting to be freed from the system again. I stayed sober for the duration of the sentence, and resumed drinking as soon as I had the opportunity. Literally, within about two weeks I was at it again. Three times a week, for an entire year, I had listened to that group of people in those meetings. I knew the routine, I knew their stories, and I knew what each had chosen as their "Higher Power" (I even had my own Higher Power, who I called “god”). Most of them had no hope, other than that very moment in time, their sponsor, and the “Higher Power, in whom they chose to believe in”.

I reached a point in my life where I was starting to lose my mind. I was having hallucinations and panic attacks that started around 9:00 in the morning, and lasted until I could get drunk again. I was vomiting blood on bad days, and pooping blood on the good ones. My wife had left me; my car was repossessed, my landlord kicked me out, I sold my guitar for booze money, and my boss fired me for coming in smelling like liquor. I had absolutely no reason to live. I decided to call out to that “Higher Power” that I had been referring as “god” in all of those AA meetings.

I don’t recall one single person in any of those meetings that ever found salvation from their “Higher Power”. Here, all of these alcoholics were calling their wallet, or Buddha, or Oprah, or pay check; anything they could think of their “Higher Power”, and not one of them had ever been able to say, “I’m no longer an alcoholic. I have been healed of that sickness.” That is of course except for me and one other guy. We both (a couple years apart) found out that you can have all of the “Higher Powers” you want, but there is really only one. You could say that he is “The Highest Power”. Today, because of Him, you can call me a fanatic, you can call me corny, or you can call me a religious nut job - whatever you want, but you can not, today, call me an alcoholic. I have been free from alcohol for 8 year now.

Don’t think for a second that I am naïve. I never said that I do not have the occasional urge to drink, nor did I say that I quit one day and haven’t touched it since. I came out of it slowly, over about a year’s time and I screwed up repeatedly along the way. I tried very hard during those last four years to quit. I hated myself. Though I tried vehemently, I could not quit.

I was offered good help many, many times, and many times I took them up on it. That never changed the fact that I could not quit. I had been to rehab three times. I was kicked out of one, “completed” another, and checked myself out of the last. The last one was the VA Hospital in Danville, IL. The doctors there told me that I had less than a year to live if I continued to drink. To emphasize the point, they put me in a two man room with a severely bloated yellow man named John who was dying from jaundice of the liver. John died in his sleep three days after I became his roommate. The day before John died he told me, “Don’t do what I did Aaron, please, don’t do what I did” every chance that he had. I must have heard it fifteen times that day. I still think about it. A few weeks later I left. Within minutes after leaving, I was drunk.

I do not walk around with a 2,92 Day Token in my pocket today. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I have confidence someone that is already there, waiting on me. I am free today because of Jesus Christ. I choose to call Him “Yeshua HaMashiac”. Any way you slice it, He is the God of Israel; my King, my Redeemer, my Friend, my Savior, my “Token of Days Without Number”. He has made me free. Do you want to hear something ironic? While Millions of people are out there trying to choose their own Higher Power; be it a guitar, a wedding ring or a dollar bill,

...mine chose me.

If you are struggling with this sickness, you need to know that He is calling your name too – all you have to do is “choose to believe” in Him, and you will soon find out that He has chosen you as well.